1. Skip breakfast. Coffee counts as breakfast, right? Just drink that coffee then. In fact, have two cups.
2. At 10am when you realize you’re so hungry you could chew your arm off, hit the vending machine. Choose the Cherry Cheese Danish because it’s breakfasty. Notice that the Danish has 450 calories. Ignore that fact. Eat the whole thing on the way back to your desk. -OR-
3. Skip that 10am vending machine trip and try to holdout until a reasonable lunchtime. At noon, head for Subway to get something healthy. On the way to Subway, realize that Subway is totally inconvenient because you have to *gasp* get out of your car to procure your chow. Hit McDonalds instead. “#2, no pickles, no mustard, and sweet tea to drink”.
4. At 6pm head home and collapse onto the couch. Think about dinner options. Your day was so terrible you just want comfort food and you’re in luck: YOU’RE A FOODIE! There are so many options to choose from. You can cook them or you can go out for dinner.
5. Crap!! You “forgot” to go to the gym. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day. Pour a second glass of wine instead.
6. 9pm and you’re hungry. Look past those healthy snacks in the fridge (they always seem to go bad and get thrown out…) and go straight for leftover fried chicken.
7. If you wake up hungry in the middle of the night eat half of something ridiculous and feed your dog the other half. If you sleep until morning wake up and REPEAT.
Voilà! Your clothes no longer fit so you’ve bought a new wardrobe, you wouldn’t be caught dead in a bikini, you have no energy so the gym is completely out of the question, and you feel pretty shitty about yourself.
Table 110 