Dear Cooking Blog Writer Part 2

Dear Cooking Blog Writer:

It wasn’t exactly what I was asking for, but I laughed my ass off.

Me

Photo here

Really?

73. Many people who are interested in meeting other people read books, attend seminars or listen to cassettes to keep up with the latest techniques for improving social skills. How many of the following words and phrases related to meeting new people are you familiar with?

     Telephoning             Face-to-face contact
     Networking              Blind Date
     Go-between              Dating Service
     Social Influence        Interpersonal insighter
     Referral                Social Poise

I know, am familiar with, or have heard or read something about all these words and phrases.
I only recognize some of them.
I don’t recognize any of them.

An Open Letter to My Neighbor

Dear Folks in Apartment 216,

Hello. This is your friendly neighbor from downstairs. We’ve been living in close vertical proximity for about 6 weeks now, and although we have never met face to face I feel as if we’ve gotten to know each other.

For instance, I’ve learned that when you get home from work you thrash around in your closet for a really long time. I’ve learned that you have an army of little people in moon boots tromping through your living room for at least 5 hours a day. I’ve learned that every wall in your apartment is covered with thousands of pictures, each pounded into the walls with multiple nails (that is the only explanation for the incessant pounding to which I am trying to become accustomed).

On the flip side, you’ve learned that when you cannonball off your sofa onto the living room floor, causing my ceiling and light fixtures to rattle, my dogs bark. And bark. And bark. I’ve tried to explain to them that it’s just our neighbor practicing a diving routine, but they don’t care. You’ve also learned that while I may seem patient and tolerant I do occasionally lose my cool, like yesterday when I pounded on the ceiling using the leg my movers broke off of my piano. I don’t know if you were surprised, but my roomie and my dogs looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.

Neighbor, last week I noticed a couple drops of water coming from the light fixture in my bathroom. I didn’t really think much of it because it stopped right away. Big mistake!

This morning I groggily moved from the bed to the shower and flipped the light switch. Nothing. Damn! I thought. I’m going to have to shower in the dark. I looked up and realized that the entire globe was filled with dirty-looking water. Sick! The ceiling around the light fixture was visibly wet.

My mind raced as I hastily showered in the low-light conditions while staring fearfully at the light fixture. Obviously something disgusting had occurred in your bathroom, neighbor. My money is on a toilet overflow. So basically, there is a glass globe full of shit water precariously dangling from my ceiling.

After my shower as I frantically searched for my dead cell phone I began to wonder why you had not already alerted maintenance of this major problem. Was it a purposeful attack on me as payback for those three unapologetic raps on my ceiling? Or maybe there’s a reason you don’t want maintenance to enter your apartment. Perhaps it’s because you have an elaborate weed growing operation in the closet adjacent to your bathroom. Maybe the army of little people in moon boots are not on your lease…

Anyway, I found my phone, contacted the office, and my suspicion was confirmed. You did not report whatever problem is occurring in your bathroom. Thankfully, the gentleman who answered my call sensed my panic and assured me that maintenance would be here soon.

Neighbor, I’m wondering if you have a suggestion as to how to avoid certain bathroom disaster. I am very afraid that the shit water-filled globe is about to come crashing down, shattering and causing a major disaster. I feel as if I should put something soft on the floor under the globe to prevent any broken glass, however I’m not sure I am willing to sacrifice any of my textiles to raw sewage generated by someone I don’t even know.

I am now heading to the grocery store dear neighbor. I am hopeful that when I return home this issue will have been resolved. I even have a peace offering for you: if this situation can be fixed without me having to come in contact with whatever sludge is filling my light fixture, I will openly accept your couch cannonballing habit.

I’m hoping for the best, neighbor.

Sincerely,
Me

Day 10: Upgrade Your Breakfast

What’s your favorite breakfast food?  Cinnamon rolls?  Donuts?  Bagels?  Blueberry muffins? 

Today’s challenge is to trade in your usual breakfast for a healthier option (if you’re a breakfast skipper that means you’ll need to eat).  If you already had breakfast today that’s OK, do it tomorrow. 

Why is eating breakfast such a big deal?  People who eat breakfast tend to make healthier meal choices throughout the day.  Eating a satisfying, well-balanced first meal can also help you avoid that late morning junk food craving.  Need some ideas on what to eat?  Here are some ideas:

• Egg beaters
• Turkey Bacon
• Oatmeal
• Grapefruit
• Berries
• Hard-boiled Eggs
• Cottage Cheese

Discussion:  (use the comments section below)

• What’s your favorite healthy breakfast item?
• What changes can you make to ensure you have time for a healthy breakfast every day?

Photo here

Day 9: Add a Serving of Vegetables to Your Day

We are supposed to eat between 5 and 9 servings of fruits and veggies every day.  Every time I hear that I think it sounds completely impossible.  Today’s task is not moving mountains, but it will get us one step closer to the goal.  Today we will add one serving of vegetables each day.

Here are some ideas to help you achieve this goal:

• Have an afternoon snack of vegetables (carrot sticks, celery with peanut butter, etc)
• Add a green salad to every dinner
• Add chopped peppers or tomatoes to your scrambled eggs, omelet or frittata in the morning
• Keep a stash of frozen veggies in your freezer.  They’re quick and easy to cook with dinner

Be careful, though.  It can be tempting to slather those veggies in butter, cheese, or high-calorie sauces.  Personally I recommend a couple sprays of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray.  Honestly.  It tastes good.

Discussion: (Use the comments section below)

• Do you eat enough fruits and vegetables every day?
• What roadblocks keep you from eating the recommended daily allowance for fruits and vegetables?
• What strategy are you going to try to improve your veggie intake?

 

Photo here

Day 8: Keep a Food Diary… and Keep it Real

Welcome to Day 8.  Congratulations: we’ve been at this for a whole week!

 

Since you’re reading this post, I’m guessing you’re eating reasonably healthy meals right now.  You might even be counting your calories.  But guess what: there are probably hidden calories lurking in the shadows, hiding from your calorie counting.

 

Where are these sneaky calories?  Here are a couple of possibilities:

• The chunk of pineapple you taste-tested when cutting up the fruit
• The handful of chips you grabbed on your way from the kitchen to the couch
• The extra forkful of pasta you tasted before dishing up, or the one you ate after dinner was over
• The “fun size” candy bar you grabbed out of your coworker’s candy jar

Today’s challenge is to be honest with yourself and count all those little “extra” calories.  They add up!

 

Discussion: (use the comments section below)

• Where do your extra calories come from?
• What munchies do you have a hard time passing up?

My First Aldi Experience

Today was my first experience shopping at Aldi.  I’ve been told that it is THE PLACE to go for grocery shopping on a budget.  Since I have a very limited budget right now, but I still love to eat good food, I thought I’d give Aldi a try.

I did some research before hand and I’m glad that I did.  I knew to bring a quarter to “rent” my shopping cart, and I knew to bring my own bags.

When I walked into the store I was overwhelmed right away.  There seemed to be no organization to the store, there was no familiar packaging, and the prices were hard to see.  Nevertheless, I managed to navigate through the store and get quite a selection of food.  Here’s what I walked away with:

Fresh Produce:

• Head of Cauliflower
• 6 Navel Oranges
• Fresh Broccoli Crowns
• 2 lbs Green Grapes
• 6 White Onions
• 4 Red Onions
• 3 Bags of Salad Mix
• 6 Bananas
• 6 Granny Smith Apples
• Whole Fresh Pineapple

Frozen Food:

• Frozen Broccoli
• 2 Frozen Pizzas

Meat:

• 1.2 lbs Ground Turkey
• 2 Whole Chickens (4-5 lbs each)
• 1.5 lb Pork Tenderloin

Dairy:

• String Cheese (12 pk)
• Margarine
• 32 oz. Yogurt

Grocery:

• 32 oz. Ketchup
• Big Jar of Salsa
• Hot Cocoa Mix
• Peanut Butter (small)

Total Price: $48.85  Incredible. I thought the cashier was joking.

I’ve taste tested a couple of the items, and so far the pineapple, the oranges, the broccoli crowns and the red onions all seem to be just great.

The verdict:

While several of the aspects of the store are a pain, I’m willing to bet I’ll be stopping there at least twice a month going forward.

Day 7: Get More Sleep

Did you enjoy your day off yesterday?  Good!  It’s time to get back to creating a healthier life!

Most of us don’t get enough sleep.  Sleep is a critical component to a healthy life.  Too busy to get a good night’s sleep?  Think you don’t need as much sleep as other people?  According to WebMD there are many reasons to get some extra Zzzzs, including:

• Enhanced memory abilities
• Clearer thinking
• Better weight control
• Increased immunity to disease
• Better sex life

These are some pretty great perks!

Here’s today’s specific challenge: get an extra hour of sleep at least one day this week.  Go to bed early, turn off the TV and get some extra shut-eye.  See how you feel the next day.  Do you notice any positive effects?

Discussion: (use the comments section below)

• How much sleep do you get on an average night?
• Do you feel you’re getting enough sleep?
• What are your biggest roadblocks to getting adequate rest?

Photo courtesy of babycenter.com

Day 6: Give Yourself a Break

Some people give themselves a cheat day, others a cheat meal… even contestants on the Biggest Loser get a cheat day every week (according to popular gossip).  Just remember:  get back on the healthy train the next day.

 Today is Superbowl Sunday.  Go eat some Seven Layer Dip, have a Bloody, and don’t feel bad about it.  Because guess what:  Tomorrow it’s back to work.

 Have a great day everyone!

Day 5: Drink More Water

IMPORTANT:  Before you read this post, get up, pour yourself a glass of water, drink it, and then come back to your computer.  No, I’m not kidding.  Go, pour, drink.  I’ll be here when you get back.

Photo courtesy of buywaterfiltersandionizers.com

Did you finish your water?  Good.  You just did something really good for yourself.

 Do you drink enough water every day?  Very few of us do.  Most sources say we’re supposed to drink at least 8 glasses of water each day.  It can be tiring listening to people preach the importance of staying hydrated, but there are several benefits to drinking plenty of H₂O.  Maybe one of these will resonate with you:

• Water flushes toxins from your body
• Water makes your skin look healthy and glowing
• Proper hydration keeps you cooler in the warm summer months
• Drinking adequate water can assist with weight-loss
• Sometimes the body confuses thirst with hunger.  Drinking water before succumbing to a food craving can help you figure out if you’re really craving that bag of Skittles

 

Still not convinced?  Try making water more appealing by trying one of these tricks:

• Squeeze a lemon, lime or orange wedge into your water
• Add a couple of tablespoons of your favorite fruit juice to your water
• Try Propel or Crystal Light (both come in handy, single-serving packages that you can add to your water).  Personally I like Propel because it’s clear.  Crystal Light powder usually leaves me with stained fingertips, a stained countertop, and a Kool-Aid mustache.  But I’m a big kid like that…
• Invest in a nice water bottle that you really like.  Sounds kind of weird, but the time in my life that I was consistently drinking my 8 glasses of water a day I was drinking it out of my awesome pink Nalgene bottle
• Does drinking water make you chilly in the winter?  Try unsweetened green tea during the day or unsweetened chamomile tea in the evening
• Turn water drinking into a challenge.  Fill up a 2 liter bottle with water in the morning and keep it in the fridge.  Challenge yourself to drink the whole thing before you go to bed

 

Discussion: (use the comments area below)

• Do you drink enough water?
• What strategies do you use to make sure you hit your daily quota of H2O?